Look, all I want is to find the little hand mirror that I brought. I can't remember the last time I used it but there is an itchy bump on my face and I want to make sure it looks like a mosquito bite before I apply After Bite, you know?
I can't find it anywhere. I only have limited possessions through which to look. I have four shelves. Top is for books and misc items like a bag of granola bars and my ipod. Second shelf is for water, medicine, and hygiene items, third shelf is for clothes, and bottom shelf is for empty luggage and plastic bags.
It was after pulling out my suitcase on this bottom shelf that I discovered the biggest spider of my life. It is so large that its scuttling is audible. No lie, its body has a diameter of at least an inch and its thick legs more than quadruple its circumference. First to do the math on leg length is a winner. I don't know where it went so I can't even kill it. So great, now I have an itchy face, no mirror, and yet another contributor to my insomnia problem.
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Oh wow Lisa,
ReplyDeleteWhile you are lying awake all night, I fear that spider will enter my dreams. Can you find out what kind of spider it is? Is it poisonous?
Maybe it is a good idea to have a room mate in case one of these creatures (or something worse) attacks you. At least someone can run for help.
On the other hand, maybe it is a safe, friendly spider. You are bigger than it is. Maybe you could be friends. Wilbur and Charlotte were great friends.
Love,
Mom
there is a 0% chance i can do that math. i think i need to go to class w/your girls :-)
ReplyDeletei am going to pretend i never read about this spider, because HOLY GAHHHHHHH.
Haha, that might make it hard for me to sleep, too! Regardless, I hope your snoozing soundly right now.
ReplyDeleteleg length = 4*pi = 12.5 inches
ReplyDeletetotal length = at least 1+8*(pi) (leg on each side?)
26 inches lise?
Gross me right out of town. That's not exactly something you can flush down the toilet...if you had a flushing toilet, that is. So I really don't think it's something you can dump down a squat toilet. Man I'm going to have nightmares. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, in important news...nothing important has happened. Michelle Obama still has great arms, Eminem is still completely lacking talent, and I still miss you.
Kick that spider's butt.
From Anita:
ReplyDeleteLisa, I have not heard of a poisonous spider in that region. Find out before you worry even more. Set up the mosquito netting. If it stops mosquitoes, it'll stop bigger bugs and you can get Winnie to tuck you in all nice and cozy. You'll overcome!