The principal keeps worrying that I am lonely living alone. For the first few nights, she had two students stay over which is just kind of awk since I'm their teacher, so I told them they could sleep back in their dorms. Then I had two very nice nights alone.
I really appreciate some good alone time. Just relax, go to the bathroom with the door open, eat what and when I want, etc. It's hard to be always 'on', you know? It's nice just to lie on my bed doing nothing for forty minutes and not have anybody comment on that.
However, now the principal has arranged (or, in her words, finally convinced) one of the young teachers here to move away from her parents and come share my house. I couldn't appreciate the effort and sentiment more, but it's obvious to me that both of us might be happier with the previous situation. There's only one set of keys, for example. I like to eat dinner around seven, she prefers nine. We have only one lamp between us, so last night we sat in the sitting room but I don't know how many more canada-and-kenya-sure-are-different! conversations there are. If I had just come and was told I'd share a house, that'd be find. But the fact that people are going out of their way, increasing the unpleasantness of their own situation, makes me want to politely mention that I am very not lonely when living alone. Plus no situation could be safer: I have a lock on my bedroom door and on my front door, I live within the hospital compound which is locked at night, and there is a watchman and lots of dogs.
I don't know what to do. Even if I were neutral towards living with somebody, I don't like intruding, or making her go out of her way. I like her VERY much, but... I don't know. Should I say something? Do I just sound like a baby now? Probably, but advise me anyway.
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I say: Give it another week. See how it shakes down, and maybe talk to her directly about it. Just my 2 centavos! I love you!
ReplyDeleteWhile you might prefer to be alone (totally relate there), when else can you say that you got to have a Kenyan roommate? Enjoy the experience, and if it's still awkward after a bit, you might mention to her that if she'd prefer to be at home, you'd understand.
ReplyDeleteHI lisa
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear you are doing well in your new home.I will send you a letter if you send
me one 35 Stavebank Rd #302 Mississauga Ont. L5G 2T7
Love you Nana xxxxx
Hi Lisa, I'm Julia. I work with Africa Inland Mission, and we're working with the AIC Mbooni and the Walters on the Creation of Hope project. Eric mentioned your blog, so I thought I would check it out. I thought I would add my two cents regarding your housing dilemma. Having lived overseas, I know that cross-cultural relationships can be a bit awkward, trying to get past the chit chat on each other's countries. And I also know it can be tiring always being 'on', especially in a cross-cultural setting where everything is different. But in a lot of ways, living with someone will be your best opportunity to really get your teeth into the culture - not necessarily in an intentional "tell me about Kenya" kind of way, but just in getting to know someone from the culture a lot better than you'll probably get to know others you're working with and seeing. So if you can get over the initial hump of figuring out how to live together without always having to feel like you need to be entertaining each other, I would say it's worth sticking with it. It'll only be for a couple of months, and could be one of the best learning experiences you have while you're there.
ReplyDeleteBut I also echo Ronnica's thought that if it just doesn't get any better for you or her, you could sensitively "release" her from her obligation to stay.